09 PANIC | LINER NOTES

[verse]

we are not friends

f*ck being nice

why would I care?

b*tch I do not care

hate that you want me

hate that you love me

study me, study

I don’t need nothin'

that sh*t make you nutty

you can’t stay up off me

yo, don’t approach me,

bro it’s too costly

you cannot touch me

I'm too f*ckin' saucy

it ain’t in yo' budget

b*tch, stay in yo' bucket

we are not friends

why would I care?

why would I smile?

look at the clothes

b*tch, my hair to the floor

I do not miss

look what I throw

ain’t no ain’t no ain’t no ain’t

these hoes could never ever

b*tch, they can’t!

you know where I been

you know that I ATE

I’m on it again

I’ll play in yo face

b*tch, I’ll stay in yo face

I don't know how to sit down

I swear don't know how to f*ckin act

I keep my foot on some f*ckin' necks

I don't know how to sit down

[chorus]

these bitches mad at it

aw, watch 'em all panic

these bitches mad, mad, mad

[verse]

you not 'bout to make it

y’all not 'bout to make it

I can’t let you make it

tonight you’ll learn

you gone suck it up

that sh*t finna burn

I get in my bag bag bag

I swear don't know how to f*ckin act

I keep my foot on some f*ckin necks

y’all gonna have to meet me where I’m at

how I turn up lookin like a check?

make a b*tch feel it in her chest

how it happen everywhere I step?

y’all ain’t even got the body yet

somebody really 'bout to be upset

I’m all in they space

I’ll stay in yo' face

bitch, I’ll stay in yo' plate

I don't know how to sit down

I swear don't know how to f*ckin act

I keep my foot on some f*ckin' necks

I don't know how to sit down

[chorus]

these bitches mad at it

aw, watch 'em all panic

these bitches mad, mad, mad

[joshua garcia solo/outro]

SCENE: a viciously intense game of musical chairs. Black and white, dramatic lighting, lots of slow motion action shots.

The lights come up in a mostly-empty gym. At the sidelines, there’s a DJ and booth. At mid-court there are seven players standing in a loose circle around six chairs. The players are dressed for sport, wearing elbow and knee pads. They glare across the circle at one another, sizing up opponents and psyching themselves up for battle (stretching, cracking knuckles). “We are not friends.”

As the DJ begins the first round, the players begin to move clockwise around the chairs. Each one moves cautiously, listening for the signal and ready to pounce.

Close up on the DJ’s hand as the first round ends abruptly and the players begin to scramble for their seats, using the weight of their bodies to establish and defend their territories. One unlucky player is left standing, and promptly leaves the floor. The players stand, slide one chair away, and prepare for the next round.

The eliminations continue until there are two players and one chair left.

This is a visual metaphor for the ruthless and competitive nature of any industry – but namely the Rap game - where you must be willing to bogart to win. The Musical Chairs concept plays a bit on the lyric “I don’t know how to sit down.”

I want to tell you that this is my satire of “mean-girl rap,” and that the main character of this piece is someone other than myself.

But the truth is that these thoughts and ideas don’t form in a vacuum. An artist must believe in her work and her worth beyond all doubt. One thing I know about Rap as an artform, is that every MC who stands in the circle knows they are the best. It’s a highly competitive craft that attracts and creates highly competitive personalities.

Now, this aggressive aspect of my personality is not one that I usually explore in my music, but she definitely does exist. She got me through those early years, which I spent out and about in the Rap scene proving myself. Improving myself. The challenge with "Panic" was to step outside my evolved politeness and make room for an Anastasia who takes no prisoners and lives to crush her opps.

Kydd Jones sent this beat as one in a pack, and the tempo spoke to me. It’s upbeat and danceable. But once I’d settled on the concept, it was difficult to step into that part of myself. Arrogance doesn't serve me at this point in my life and career. I wrestled with the concept so much that it took nearly 5 months to write a second verse.

Once the lyrics were written, I reached out to Joshua Garcia for a “When Doves Cry/Beat It” type guitar solo.

WAY OUTSIDE

executive produced by Anastasia Hera

lyrics & listening guide

PANIC